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They Want You To Fail

Thank you for reading this Operation Melt blog update.

Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip you to achieve your big goals.

Will you join me in building a world where goals never die of loneliness?

Amuse Bouche

My amuse bouche for you today is a light “dad joke” to entertain your mind before we get down to business. Like any other amuse bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny that you paid for it, right?

“Never fear failure, always embrace it.”
Said my friend as she released me from a hug.

Goal Success by Choice

Do you have dreams that you are trying to make come true? Do you have a goal that you are trying to crush? Success doesn’t happen by chance. You don’t have to get lucky or win the lottery to live the life of your dreams. 

You just have to choose to be successful. If you make the right daily choices, adopt good habits and behaviors, and approach life with the right mindset, you can make your dreams come true. 

Goal Success by Choice helps you make the choices that will move you closer to your goals and keep you from holding yourself back. 

I hope this post helps you get a little closer to crushing your goals.

Happy New Year!?

“People want you to fail.”

Lady Gaga

Each of us has our own life journey that we go through. There are good times, and there are bad times. We have wins, and we have setbacks. But few of us go through our journeys alone. Even if we aren’t accompanied by friends and family, there are still strangers who see our ups and downs from afar.

It is a fact of life that we live our lives in full view of others.

The good news is that the people surrounding us as we complete our life journeys tend to be very supportive. As I was going through my very visible transformation, many well-wishers offered me support and congratulations along the way.

“Wow, you are doing such a great job!”

“I am so impressed by your commitment and hard work.”

“You are so inspirational!”

“I am so proud of you!”

While my transformation may have been a little more public and visible than some, we all have people watching. These people are supportive and want us to succeed with our big goals.

Or, do they?

Transforming Out Loud

I mentioned that my transformation was more visible than most; this was driven by two factors.

First, I lost forty percent of my body weight in less than eighteen months. This is something that one simply cannot hide, and everybody sees it. As I mentioned in my book, “once people notice, they will speak up about it. It is amazing how much people are willing to walk up to you and make comments about your weight when they see it decreasing. It is probably good that people don’t do this when they see it increasing.”

But, the physical nature of my change isn’t the only reason for the increased visibility of my journey; I chose to amplify the visibility. I launched a few months into my transformation to tell my story and to help other people. Then I published a book that talked about the project management approach I employed to successfully lose over one hundred pounds in less than a year.

As I approach the fourth anniversary of, I can tell you one thing for certain, I have published a lot of content!

In just four years, I have published over four hundred blogs. I have published thousands of social media posts. I have published both a paperback and electronic book and have had several public interviews about my transformation.

There is no doubt that I have transformed myself out loud.

Observing Human Behavior

Publishing so much content over the past few years has allowed me to observe human behavior through usage statistics.

Some of my blog posts do well and get lots of readers (well, relatively).

Other blog posts go maddeningly unread despite the effort that I put into them.

With enough posts, I have been able to identify some trends and patterns with the most and least read posts. These trends are a little bit troubling.

The posts that get seen by the highest number of readers are the ones that have a title that suggests setbacks and failures. The more negative the title, the more people want to read them.

The sinister truth is that, while people publicly support my goals and progress, their private behavior suggests something different. People are more interested when they think I am failing.

People say they want you to be successful, but many of them secretly want you to fail.

Motivation Matters

What is the biggest lesson that I have learned from this hidden celebration of failure?

You can’t always rely on support and kudos from others to keep you focused on your goals. Despite their in-person messages of support, not everybody really wants you to succeed. That means that internal self-motivation is critical to achieving any goal.

As I discussed in my book, Operation Melt: How I Used Life-Changing Project Management to Lose Over 100 Pounds in Under a Year, many tools are available to keep ourselves motivated and focused on our goal, even without social support.

  • Remember your why: If you want to keep going, remember why you started. Continually re-focusing on why you committed to your goal can be a significant motivation to keep going. 
  • Measure your progress: With every goal, it is critical to measure your progress daily. This isn’t just a way to ensure that you are on track, but there is a second benefit. Your continuous measurement of progress will help you build a success snowball. When you see a little bit of success, you will be motivated to pursue even more success, which will build increasing momentum to keep focused on your goal.
  • Fuel your brain: As I discussed in Mind Control Powers, we have the power to control our brains by feeding them relevant content (music, videos and other inspirational content). By consuming the motivational and inspirational content that you enjoy, you can motivate yourself when times get tough.
  • Affirmations: Finally, by finding motivational affirmations, you can continue talking to yourself and reminding yourself to focus on your goal. Unlike some other people around you, your affirmations will be genuinely interested in your success.

By learning to motivate yourself to stay focused on your goals, you can help insulate yourself from the potentially fair-weather supporters. Those people who say they want you to be successful but secretly are rooting for your failure.

But, make sure not to turn your back on the people who are genuine supporters; they are your best friends and allies in your journey.

So What?

When pursuing your goals, there will be many vocal supporters rooting for your success. Or are they? While people tell you they want you to be successful, their private behavior may tell a different story. Not every vocal support really wants you to succeed; some of them really want you to fail. Get ready: the responsibility for your success is all yours.

Are you interested in a partner and supporter genuinely interested in your success? Let me help.

Click Here to learn more about my Operation Melt coaching services.

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Published inGoal Success by Choice

Disclaimer: The Operation Melt website and blog does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The information provided on this website is intended for general consumer understanding and entertainment only. The information provided is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. As health and nutrition research continuously evolves, we do not guarantee the accuracy, completeness, or timeliness of any information presented on this website.

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