Welcome to Ask Coach Tony!
This is your opportunity to get a taste of my Operation Melt coaching by asking me your most pressing questions about achieving your goals and personal growth.
Ask Coach Tony is where you’ll find answers, insights, and strategies to help you take actionable steps toward success – whether you’re just starting or looking to level up.
Ready for a dad joke?
Consider this a lighthearted amuse-bouche for your brain before we get serious. Sure, it might be groan-worthy—but hey, at least you’re getting your money’s worth, right? 😆
Someone told me to stop with the puns because they make them numb…
So I asked, “Do math puns make you number?”
Wear the Damn Outfit: Confidence Isn’t Something You Earn Later
I was recently running with a large group … a race-day crowd, buzzing with pre-run nerves and that contagious energy only runners seem to love. While we waited to start, I struck up a conversation with another runner, probably close to my age.
At one point, she motioned toward a younger woman ahead of us, stretching confidently in tiny shorts and a fitted sports bra. “I’d love to run in something like that,” she said, “but I’m not confident enough.”
I smiled, but inside I flinched a little.
Because… this woman?
She was fit.
She was strong.
She was beautiful.
And yet she believed confidence was something she hadn’t earned yet. Like there was some secret finish line she hadn’t crossed that gave you permission to show up fully and boldly as yourself.
The Confidence Cart Before The Confidence Horse
We don’t wait until we’re confident to do the thing.
We get confident because we do the thing.
Think about it: you didn’t wait until you were confident in your ability to walk before you took your first steps.
You just… tried. You stumbled, you wobbled, you fell, and then you tried again. And somewhere along the way, your legs got stronger, your balance improved, and your confidence caught up.
That’s how everything works.
That’s how confidence works.
But somewhere along the way, we forget that.
We start believing that confidence has to come first … that we need permission or perfection before we can take action.
“I’ll wear that when I lose 10 pounds.”
“I’ll speak up in meetings once I have more experience.”
“I’ll share my writing once it’s perfect.”
“I’ll go after that goal when I feel ready.”
It’s the same story, dressed in different fears.
We tell ourselves we’re not ready yet and hope that confidence will show up one day like a package on the doorstep.
We’re afraid other people will judge us for trying.
But here’s the truth:
Most people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think they are.
“You’ll worry less about what people think of you when you realize how seldom they actually do.”
— David Foster Wallace
Confidence is built through action.
Confidence isn’t a gift. It’s a byproduct.
It’s something you build as you go, not something you’re handed once you’ve proven yourself.
Sometimes, you have to decide: I’m going to show up anyway.
Even if it’s uncomfortable.
Even if you feel exposed.
Even if your inner critic is yelling.
It might be running shirtless, or in just a sports bra, on a hot day.
It might be posting the blog.
It might be signing up for that race.
It might be finally hitting “publish” or “send” or “yes.”
It might simply be telling yourself “there’s no such thing as too old for the outfit or the new start.”
Whatever it is… don’t wait.
Courage comes first. Confidence follows.
This Week’s Ask Coach Tony Challenge:
What’s your version of that bold outfit move?
The one that makes you a little nervous… but also a little excited?
Think about something you’ve been avoiding because you “don’t feel confident enough.”
Now take one small action in that direction … not because you’re ready, but because you’re worthy.
You don’t need to justify it.
You don’t need to earn it.
You already have permission (see Success Secrets: How To Get The Right Permission).
Want a System That Helps You Build Confidence One Step at a Time?
I’ve taken everything I use with my coaching clients and packaged it into a complete 3-part system:
📘 Project Manage Your Life – the book that teaches my 6-step framework to help you manage any goal like a project.
📝 Project Manage Your Life Workbook – the companion toolset with real planning templates, tracking pages, and coaching-style prompts to help you actually do the work.
🎯 Project Manage Your Life Coaching – personalized 1-on-1 support to help you stay accountable, navigate roadblocks, and actually live the system.
These tools are your roadmap, your structure, and your proof that you can show up — and keep showing up — even before you feel “ready.”
👉 Get both books and learn more at OperationMelt.com/PMYL
Need a Confidence Boost Right Now?
Want a cheerleader when you put on that outfit?
Send me a pic. I will tell you that you look good.
Seriously … no judgment, just support. We don’t tear people down around here. We build ‘em up.
You’re already more powerful than you think.
You just need to stop waiting for confidence and start walking.
✨ I believe in you. Let me help YOU believe in you!
Now go wear the damn outfit.
Meet Coach Tony
Tony Weaver is a master life coach, technologist, consultant, writer, and founder of Operation Melt.
He helps project managers and other left-brained high-achievers pursue their biggest goals.
Through free resources, personalized coaching, and his proven Project Manage Your Life system, Tony empowers clients to move their dreams from “someday” to success — one step at a time.
Learn more about Project Manage Your Life, the system my clients and I use to crush our goals, at OperationMelt.com/PMYL/
Ready to Move Your Goals from Someday to Success?
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