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Ask Coach Tony: How Do I Stop Hesitating?

In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals. 

Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.

Amuse Bouche

Before we get to today’s post, I offer you this light “amuse-bouche” to entertain your mind before we get down to business. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate my “dad joke,” but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right?

I have just finished writing a book on penguins. In hindsight, paper would have been a better choice.

Ask Coach Tony: How Do I Stop Hesitating?

Coach Tony: I have been presented with a job opportunity that may be my dream job. I have done all the legwork to ensure it is a legit job and meets all of my financial and flexibility requirements. But I am still struggling to say yes, and I don’t know why. How can I get myself over this hump and stop hesitating?

It sounds like you have really done your due diligence and thought through this opportunity. This upfront work helps reduce the probability of something going wrong. It is the first step in the risk management process (see How To Prevent Unexpected Roadblocks From Derailing Your Journey). 

But this isn’t a logic issue; it’s emotion. It sounds to me like fear is causing your hesitation.

This is perfectly natural. Your brain isn’t wired to care about your happiness; it just wants to keep you safe. This job opportunity is new and different. This causes your brain to perceive it as a threat and tries to maintain safety with the status quo.

Here are two simple steps you can take to challenge your fear.

What’s The Worst That Can Happen?

Pause and ask yourself, “what’s the worst that can happen if I take this new job?”

Proactively consider all possible risks and plan how you will respond. Having all the risks identified and addressed (preferably on paper) makes the new opportunity less of an unknown. This will help your brain see it as less of a threat.

This will also be a big confidence boost because it reminds you that there is nothing you can’t overcome. That’s where the second step comes into play.

Not Your Final Decision

Part of the reason fear gets in the way is that we forget an important reality: there are almost no final decisions that can’t be reversed in life. If you pursue a new opportunity and don’t like it, you can make a different decision.

You are simply deciding your next step, not your future. Try to take steps to reduce the pressure you are putting on this decision.

Write a physical reminder to yourself, such as, “I will make good decisions today, but I am always allowed to change my mind tomorrow.” Write this reminder on a PostIT note and hang it somewhere you can see it often; bathroom mirrors are an excellent location. Then read it, ideally out loud, to yourself at least daily.

Try these two steps, and the fear will start fading away. Congratulations on the new job. I am sure you are going to be great!

Ask Me Anything!

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Whatever your question, I am here to help. Ask Me Anything!

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Meet Coach Tony

My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.

I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal. 

I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt. 

Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals. 

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